In the new year, I signed myself up for a retreat. Little did I know... it was silent. Aaaaah!!!! Anyone who has ever met me can see that I enjoy talking and conversation a lot. It's one of the fundamentals of my personality. I like getting to know people, I always have a few questions up my sleeve saved for uncomfortable silences. Looks like I wouldn't be able to use my amo afterall.
What did I do for my beautiful weekend of silence at the Encinitas SRF Center? I prayed... to be able to talk! Well, not really, but I did write a lot, and I even wrote notes to my suite-mate and left them for her in our adjoining bathroom to discover the next time she used the Lou.
Although it was raining for the majority of the weekend, I did use Sarah-Vision to explore the gardens. I woke up early one morning before they had opened the gates to the public and just walked around. It was so blustery and cold, but the waves and clouds made it worth my while. Powerful crashing, ominous clusters of thunderheads staring me down. I loved it!
I visited with my coy friends and there was a smaller pond off to the side with baby coy in a submerged box. It made me think of how I live my life. There's this great big pond of a world out there, and I'm existing in this little bubble of an environment, and I can't wait for the day when I set myself free.
On the last day, the retreatants were taken on a tour of the Hermitage. You can do this on Sundays at a designated time in the day. Before going into the beautiful space, we sat in the Chapel for a moment of quiet reflection. I thought to ask Master forr a blessing. Before the words formed in my mind.... Guruji answered my prayer with a most emphatic "YES!" My heart swelled in my chest and I felt flooded with a warm energy throughout my entire body.
In the Hermitage, I saw the very room where Yogananda would spend his days and nights writing. He finished Autobiography of a Yogi on a wooden desk overlooking the ocean bluff. As I realized this... I mean words cannot describe how I felt. Overjoyed, thrilled, super duper happy. You name it!
After I came back to the main room, something flew into my eye. I kept trying to work it out with the tips of my finger when I was suddenly spotted by one of the nuns. She looked at my sympathetically, opened a small drawer next to her and produced a small tissue. She nodded and said, "It can be overwhelming sometimes for people. I understand."
I was about to tell her that she didn't, but I enjoyed her sympathy and the humor of the situation much better.
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