I heard about her last year from a woman in my sumi-e painting class and decided to visit. Her son worked closely with Amma and lives in India at her ashram for most of the year. Before joining or even knowing the saint, he had a vision of her. He knew that if he ever found out whom this woman was, he would change his life and way of living to follow her.
Last year, I didn't see Amma. I tried. I took the train up, met an acquaintance of mine (whom I was interested in) for some dinner, and then went to the Sheratan hotel where she was touring. We discovered after getting there that the public days had come to a close. The retreat started and would last for the remainder of the week, a luxury I didn't have. Luckily, I wasn't disappointed. The night turned into a lovely date and we continued to each other for the next 6 months.
This year, I was determined. My friend and I took the train (same as last year) and grabbed a the fly-away bus to the airport. We were so excited that we couldn't wait for the shuttle to the hotel. We hopped in a cab who quickly booted us out in search of a more lucrative client. He was also trying to save us a few bucks since he knew the shuttle was free and it would be arriving any minute.
Of course, he was right, and I had to remind myself that in any spiritual endeavor... the timing will always be right... even if you perceive yourself to be running late or early. Since it had been a year, I knew I could wait a minute or two longer. The shuttle turned the corner and went right past us! My friend and I booked it down the next three blocks. I wore sweats and they were falling off!!!! My buddy wore flats and they were slipping off. We were quite the pair... waving our hands and yelling for her to stop all the while trying to keep my pants on.
Once at the hotel, we were greeted warmly with friendly faces and hundreds of people wearing all white. Wooops... black and brown - perhaps not the best choice. I didn't think Amma would discriminate since she's a conduit of unconditional love afterall. We grabbed a number - deli style (what they called it) and when the number comes up, you get in line to receive the hug. We were in group G1.
While waiting you may entertain yourself by meditating, talking with friends and fellow pilgrims, or buying different Amma wares and Indian scarves. Lunch was served in a separate meeting room. I had lentil curry, a fried eggplant thingy, and a mango lassi to wash it all down. Note: Skip lentil curry if you're prone to gas - I learned the hard way.
Amma hugs the day away. She doesn't stop! No breaks, no getting up for the bathroom, no stretching, no eating, no nothing. She hugs and hugs and hugs and hugs.
They do put fans on her and there's always a group of people standing around her moving people in and out of her embrace. When G1 came up, my friend dug her nails into my knee and squeezed. Oy! She was excited. The line moved quickly like a strange game of musical chairs that formed two rows like an imaginary bus. One person would yell out 'single' or 'double' which meant you could go in pairs if you wanted to get a simultaneous blessing.
Along the magical imaginary bus way, we felt waves of love emanating from the people and Amma herself. It was very exciting. There was a live band behind her on a raised stage playing Indian music and chanting. There were panels of orange, pink, and yellow fabric draped in wave patters. They shimmered and glowed with silver and gold sequins.
A man next to me had come to see her since 1987 - Amma's first tour in the US. He had an offering for her of a small bouquet and a mango. He asked me if I'd like to offer the mango myself. Yes ~ what a wonderful idea!
Maybe she'll eat it, he smiled.
Once at the front, a woman spoke to me: Nati langish. Nati langish.
I shook my head several times. Does that mean kneel down? What the heck is Nati Langish? I gave her my mango. Maybe it meant something to do with the offering. Here's my Nati Langish... my mango offering!
It finally dawned on me that she was asking Native Language!
English. I said sheepishly. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me and then... I was embraced.
my daughter my daughter my daughter my daughter
Amma repeated to me. I think we were rocking, I really don't recall.
She smelt like roses and felt like a dream. Somehow I expected something intense and overwhelming. It was soft and sweet. Altogether like a grandmother holding you after you've skinned your knee.
And just like that... I was up on my feet again and feeling punch drunk. Whew! Happily I was offered a spot on the ground meditate. I'll take a moment... or two... or maybe sit here for the rest of the day.
I still felt her arms around me. Her hands touching the sides of my back, and the kiss on my cheek. They were gently burned into my skin and I couldn't shake the notion that maybe this won't hit me for a while.
Like a seed planted in fertile soil or the light from a distant star ~ her love grows and shines within each of us.
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