Words from Sarah

I signed up for a writing class, and I was oh so ready. I printed out excerpts of my writing called ‘Skittles’. Their short stories that I do to keep the writer in me in flow. I also brought the beginning of ‘Through Sarah’s Eyes’ and her famous glasses. To my dismay, when I arrived in the downtown loft, it was closed.. There was an e-mail that read ‘Class cancelled due to low registration.’

Dang it! I really wanted to take this class. I would have pulled in someone off the street and paid for them if it meant I could take it. It crossed my mind to call AJ. Thank God she picked up! She was doing laundry and getting ready for her work week. She graciously invited me over and said she wanted to hear my writing.

When I got there, I sat down at a table near the kitchen and we checked it. It wasn’t moments before she was asking to hear what I had brought. I shook. My voice wavered and I didn’t know to do. I thought we’d shoot the shit a little longer than that. Wow, ok let’s jet to the point! Then entire way over to her house I was debating sharing the story on Sarah. Was it appropriate, would she be ok with it, is it too soon? I also knew that I couldn’t continue like this unless I had her blessing and Sarah’s for that matter. I needed some sort of confirmation.

Flustered, I sorted through my papers and put ‘Through Sarah’s Eyes’ at the bottom. I read each of my ‘Skittles’ aloud. She laughed, gasped, commented, nodded, and mhmmed. That was all very reassuring. AJ mentioned that she’d like to write, but it was difficult for her because she became over critical at times. Like, where does the comma go? Does that need a period or can I go on? I told her that it’s best to write like no one is reading. (Similar to dance like no one is watching… I suppose) Ok I was getting comfortable now and growing more at ease. That was until I reached the last page.

I realized at that moment she may have seen the title already and it was too late to turn back. There was also a sense of ‘meant to be’. Ok people, I don’t like saying it out loud or writing it because it reveals the hippie in me, but yes, for the record, I do believe that some things are meant to be.

So there I was, about to bear my soul again, but this time it was personal to her as well. The last thing I wanted to do was make her cry. She did, but happily, they were tears of joy. I read the excerpt from the walk in Balboa Park. AJ nodded in parts, laughed in others, and there were tears throughout. Before I read the piece, I told her what it was about and why I chose this topic. Now that I look back, I don’t think I really chose it. Perhaps it was simply meant to be. I’d also like to think that Sarah wanted this. One thing I’d really like is to get to know her a little better.

Without giving everything away about her, since that is part of the experience of writing this story, AJ asked if I would like to hear her last facebook post. I was tentative, but I wanted to know something more about her. Who she was, what she thought, just a little peak into her life. Yes, ok, yes I would love to hear what she wrote.

I got comfortable on the floor while AJ quickly pulled up the page and began to read.

“By the way,” she said “Sarah spells her name with an ‘H’. She was very adamant about her name and wanted people to know ‘that’s Sarah… with an ‘H’!”

Oh good, I got it right. At first when I went to write, I tried all the different spellings I could come up with: Sara, Serra, Sera, Sarah. Sarah, with an ‘H’, was my intuitive guess, but then I liked the other spellings and went with Sara (sans H). At last, I knew it wasn’t meant to be, and I had to go with Sarah (with the H) because… well it is her name, and I somehow just knew it.

Without further ado… here is Sarah’s final facebook post:

We are never all that we can be, only the hope of emulating the person we think we are in the inside. And yet everyday, we live and breathe, and we form relationships with others that are mirrors to our souls. Some people bring out in us the qualities that we cherish in ourselves and in others: kindness, love, patience, generosity, honesty, joy. Other people mirror things we do not necessarily want to see… and yet all of it is true… we are one in our lightness and in our darkness.


So, when I say “I love you” I am loving the part of me that resonates with you… the hope of who I am in your eyes.

The other lessons are not as enjoyable…the experiences that we have with people that reveal our weaknesses, our insecurities and faults. And yet, these are the people that help me to love myself even more, in my brokenness and imperfections.

Today, I am humbled by the people that I have the privilege of knowing, all in different ways, on different levels.


To be continued....