The Cheese Bag

I went to my friend, Larry's, art studio tonight. He throws a show/opening about once a month at his unpretentious garage. I find it quite refreshing actually. His art uses clothing, wood, staples, newspaper, and heavy amounts of white paint. Once, he told me that friends give him clothing, towels, and other bits of fabric to create his mixed media pieces. It inspired me.

This evening I brought with me a little piece of my own, a cheese bag. Now, for those of you who don't know what that is (and maybe I'm making it up)... just think of loose fishnet sorta material with handles. (Here's a picture... horray for Google Images!) This one happened to be pink. Before I gave Larry the bag, I shared my story as I am about to with you.

So last year I formed a crush on my self-defense instructor. Hey, it happens... and sadly I wasn't the only one. I threw a party in honor of my friend who was going into the Peace Corps and invited everyone from our defense class... including Mr. Dojo (my mom's nickname for him). He showed up with another girl... one from our class. Awkward!

He brought with him some cheese in this bloody bag. I don't know what came over me, but I wanted the stupid bag! It ended up being a gift to my friend going into the PC so she could use it at the local markets of her stationed country of Romania ... or whatever. A few days later she was going through her stuff and insisted I take the bag. 'You know you want it...' She was totally mocking me. Ok... she was right, but I acted as though she were forcing it upon me. I have my dignity!

I've used the friggin cheese bag for the last few months now and it's been quite useful. The bag and I had one last trip to Trader Joe's today and I decided it was time to let it go. If you've ever seen the movie Clueless and there's this scene when Britney Murphey (God rest her little soul) takes out a box of sentimental stuff that she had saved and accumulated over her crush, Elton. One thing was towel that he put ice in to revive her at a party, a Rolling With the Homies tape to commemorate a song played at said party, and a picture of the two of them together.

Point is, we all attach sentimental value to things. I do it all the time! Case and point: the sunglasses and this blog. And I'm speculating that it's how we as humans relate a lot of inanimate objects. It creates an emotional imprint or memory, and imbues the object with power. 'This belonged to my great aunt, Sophie' or whomever. 'It reminds me of the day I graduated college.' Bla bla ba... so it can be a good thing. 

We also have those sentimental things that we'd like to get rid of, but don't want to burn or throw away. The woman sitting next to me totally resonated with my story and even had an old flanel shirt from an ex she would take out and wear once a year.

I thought of a few titles of the install and piece itself:

                       I wanted the guy, but all I got was this damn cheese bag.
                      Sentimental Bullshit ~ The Collection
                      The Ex-Factor

So here's my call to all of you... do you have something wyou've kept from an ex, unrequited love, crush, or even your own that reminds you of a time back when? If so, give it to me and it will be put to use in a fantastic artistic manor.

I find this to be quite healing...don't you?

What a week!

Anyone else having an interesting and amazing week? By interesting, I mean eye-opening. By amazing I mean synchronous. I've run into friends, met extraordinary people, and learned so much about myself and the Almighty. I have to laugh because perhaps some of you reading aren't so into God. That's ok... He's into you ;)

Starting from Friday, I met a woman named during meditation group. She was visiting from out of town and wasn't planning on sharing her story. After a little while, she spoke up and it was like the flood gates just opened. She told us about her daughter who died of breast cancer at age 38. I couldn't believe it! I thought perhaps I was meeting Sarah's mom, but then I remembered that she too had passed away from breast cancer a few years before. Our visitor was so adamant that we take just one thing away from meditation that night, and that is that we are not in control. We think we are, we try to be, but the truth is that we are not. She told us that surrendering was the best thing to do, and do it as early and often as you can.

As the week progressed, I ran into friends at nearly every turn. Another person from my meditation group and a couple who want to get into meditation. Meditation certainly how I learn how to surrender.

Today, I had a conversation with a gentleman who taught me about love and gratitude. A hopeless romantic, like myself, he had the most piercing blue eyes and hilariously wicked-loud laugh. I saw that he was journaling, and he confided that it took him 8 hours to write the single page. "I'm a much faster typer," he smiled. "But there's something about writing with pen and paper. It's more emotional."

He was hit by a car when he was 8, and is confined to a wheelchair with limited motor skills and delayed speech. He still has a zest for life and huge passion for adventure. Now 26 years old, he enjoys writing, reading classic poetry from the transcendentalist movement, and dreams of becoming and English teacher. He has published a book, The Obsolete Observances of the Way Things Are. When I came home, I immediately ordered it online. Something tells me his observances aren't so obsolete. Tonight, I shall end with a musing from this young author's favorite poet, Henry David Thoreau.

     Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?

Being in the present wears me out!

I recently started teaching after school programs for elementary age kids. Yes, I am Miss Anne, and I will be teaching you math and theater this year. The kids are great. They're excited, interested, sad, bored, engaged, interactive, isolated... all of the ranges you could possibly imagine. The program lasts an hour and you have to be quick to explain things, or else you lose your audience.

So there you are, playing a game - having fun and moving along- and at the flip of a hat... they're over it! You have to teach something completely different. It's like running on the freeway, you're in 5th gear, and then you stall out! Oh no!!!! Restart your engine and grind back into first gear ~ here we go......

To make matters even more challenging, the kids are all different ages. Some are very good at adding and subtracting, so they really want to show off their skills in multiplication. Excellent... but wait, their partner doesn't. Gotta play the game according the the common denominator.

The best thing about working and playing with kids is that you're completely in the moment. You don't even have an option here. You're in it, they're no spacing out, worrying about bills, the extra 5lbs you want to work off, the lack of a love life (not speaking from personal experience or anything.. just using random elements as an example) ~ You're in it whether you like it or not. NOW is the only moment because THEN already passed, and what WILL HAPPEN... who knows and who cares?

That full immersion into the present. Facing it and seeing those eyes staring back at you ~ expecting you to do something FUN right now. Because if it ain't not fun, then it ain't worth doing.

So when does that adulthood happen? When is that shift from the present to living in the past and worrying about the futures. Is it in high school? Maybe before? Maybe it happens when you have your first regret? Ewww.... that's a nasty subject. Where the heck did I get that from?

Honestly, I think it's just a natural evolution. We live our lives, however long or short and we accrue memories and responsibilities. Those two are enough to keep us toggling back and fourth on our computer of a brain between what has happened and calculating the probability of what might. Now there's an interesting word... might. Meaning a probability of something happening, maybe, perhaps ~ also meaning strength, power, energy of being capable.

Might I use my might tonight?

Well here's the deal folks. Being in the present wears me out! But it sure beats worrying about the future and regretting the past.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!! Welcome to 2011 ya'll. Celebrated with my cousins, sister and brother-in-law. We took over my Aunt and Uncle's house ~ who were fortuitously on vacation. Thanks to them, we were able to ring in the new year like royalty in the comfort of their beautiful, large, Scripps Ranch pad. It was all under the 'guise' that we were watching their dog. Little did they know...

Actually ~ thanks to my sister  blowing our cover and how quickly news flies in my family ~ we were promptly discovered. Oh well, at least I didn't burn any popcorn this time ;) We watched the ball drop, popped open my gianormous bottle of Champagne (thank you Brett) and then let the real fun begin. By fun I mean playing Rock Band 2 while commencing a nurf gun fight in the background. We'll never grow up... that's for sure. Oh and on a safety note: Never fight with someone who has real gun experience/ hunts deer and other unsuspecting woodland creatures and game. You'll get your butt kicked!!! Not mentioning names - SAMMY.

One New Years I went to Texas, and celebrated Scots style with a very interesting clan of people. Every year upon the stroke of midnight, the hostess and her husband would parade around their neighborhood with a band friends and bagpipers while she carried the ashes of her late father. It was his favorite celebration of the year, and so she found a way for him to continue to be a part of it. She likes to shake the ashes just to help ye 'ol Daddy feel like he's dancing ;) Oooo-kay. Check out the kilts on those guys!

I like that the holidays are all about eating to excess, hanging out with family and friends, and acting like a kid again. It's the best time of year... hands down.

However you celebrated, whether it was with champagne or a shot of Scottish Whiskey ... or a few .... I wish you a Happy New Year!!! May it be the best bloody one yet.